How Do You Accidentally Wax Your Butt?

by Jenny Hansen

This title question came from my husband at breakfast this last weekend. First, I should say, I was on my first cup of coffee. Also, I might have a touch of PMS.

(Yeah, yeah…too much information, but far be it from me to leave out the backstory to this conversation.)

* * * * * *

So we’re sitting at the breakfast table, without Babykins for once, and the Hubs stretches.

Me: *peering up his nose* (Don’t judge me. It was there.) Wow, it’s fuzzy in there. *pointing my nose in the air* Am I fuzzy in there?

Him: No.

Me: Maybe it’s an age thing. Maybe I’ll get fuzzy in there in about eight years.

Him: Maybe it’s a man thing. *sigh* If you ever get fuzzy in there, you could just wax it.

Me: Are you kidding me? Have you ever accidentally yanked out a bunch of nose hairs, or gotten a pimple? It hurts! Things are sensitive in there.

Him: Well, people wax their bikini area all the time. That’s a sensitive area.

Me: Outside! They wax the outside. That’s very different from waxing the inside. I got my butt accidentally waxed on the outside, but I’d clobber the person who tried to do the inside.

Him: How do you accidentally wax your butt?

Me: This gal was doing my legs and she got a little bit overzealous. She was up my thigh and on my booty before I could catch her. Once you’ve done one cheek, you’ve gotta do ’em both. *pondering* The during didn’t feel so hot, but afterward…oh my God, it was amazing. It felt like a baby’s behind. I wanted the whole world to touch my a$$.

Him: Really.

Me: I’ll shut up now.

Jenny Note: If you’re letting someone yank the hair out of your upper thighs with hot wax, you’ve already lost your mind a bit, so really…just let ’em go all the way. You’ll enjoy your crazy smooth butt while it lasts. Would I do it again? No. I’m a Nair girl now. But at the time? It was amazing.

I’ll shut up now.

* * * * * *

Do you have times of the day, week or month that you majorly run off at the mouth? Have you ever accidentally performed any beauty regimens that turned out kind of good? Continue the discussion at the #SocialIn hashtag on Twitter or SocialInDC on Facebook!

~ Jenny


About Jenny Hansen

By day, Jenny provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. By night she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction and short stories. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

When she’s not at her personal blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at JennyHansenCA or at Writers In The Storm. Jenny also writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.

© 2014 Jenny Hansen. All content on this page is protected by copyright. If you would like to use any part of this, please contact me at the above links to request permission.

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